Photo by Scott Dorman |
As I sat in my car staring into space, a huge black crow flew through my field of vision and landed in a tree next to me. It squawked at me for what seemed several minutes… and then it flew away.
At moments like this, I can get a little superstitious. Some Native American cultures see crows as liaisons between this world and the next. They are viewed as guides that help the deceased cross over.
“I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together.” — John Lennon
One simple call made the present slip into the past as I realized that I would no longer be able to pick up the phone to call him. I thought “I have to leave right now…. I have to change flight arrangements…. I have to plan what to do next…. I will grieve later…. too much to do…”
THE FUTURE
Keeping an eye to the future can help you cope with the present. During the week of the funeral, I kept myself as busy as possible, never letting my brain sit idle. After the funeral service was over, the walls came crashing down. There was no outrunning it any longer, and it was too painful to think about a future without his smile that was seemingly just for me, and his lovely voice of a southern gentleman. I have replayed messages from him just to hear it again.
My Dad’s smile, captured by his granddaughter, Kristina |
I made it with the help of my nephew, Justin who helped me scour the photo albums for the right shots. During the funeral, the video was accompanied by beautiful live music that Justin played on his guitar. Unfortunately, I did not have clean recording of that, so I replaced it with a powerful song sung buy Annie Lenox with music by Howard Shore. The lyrics fit…
In case the video does not come through in email, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r47-EDM93II
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You’ve come to journey’s end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You’re only sleeping
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass
Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don’t say: «We have come now to the end»
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you’ll be here in my arms
Just sleeping
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West
Carol and Charlie “JUST MARRIED” in 1960 |
Carol and Charlie Hughes in 1961 |
My dad carved for my mother a small wooden figure of woman carrying a baby on her back. For anyone who knows my Mom, they will know that this has more than a surface meaning.
The timeworn face of a mother |
To me, the figurine of a mother carrying her children symbolizes her perfectly. I suspect my father knew this when he carved it. My Mom put her children before her own concerns. The weight was heavy as you can see from the stooped back, but she did it anyway… and is still doing it today in her late 70s.
Photo by Comedy Central |